So after watching this T.D. Jakes clip I began to wonder how we as individuals choose our friends. Even though I feel some people use the word “friend” a little too loosely for my taste, I found myself agreeing with every word the good reverend had to say. For those of you who haven't had the chance to review this clip yet, here’s some cliff notes to help you get the gist of his message.
Basically he broke down the three different types of people in our lives. We have the confidants, the constitutes and the comrades. Now each person has their own title along with their own definition to compliment. A confidant is usually rare and hard to come by. You share with them your inner most feelings, dreams, secrets and ambitions. Literally, no conversation is considered hold bars. They’re also the ones who knows the true you and are not afraid to call you out when it seems as though you are acting out of character. Yes, these are the ones God brings specifically in our lives to last not a season, but a lifetime.
Next we have the constitutes. These are the people you have to watch your back from. These people, like Jakes explains, are the type of people who are not invested into you, but rather what you stand for. (Meaning, the representation you present to the rest of the world versus the true character you possess.) These sneaky yet clever individuals are what we call today haters. They will smile in your face while all along conspire ways to steal the very gifts and or/visions that set you apart from everyone else. You remember from the last post, your “IT Factor“, your “Special Thing” only you can do best! With these type of people around we can only consider them bandwagon groupies. Because when the next best thing comes in town best believe they will be out of you life in a quick second and as Jay-Z likes to put it "on to the next........…”
Then lastly we have the comrades. These people are neither for or against you. They are simply in your life for a designated time to help you fulfill a purpose or plan. They could care less about what or who you stand for and their sole purpose in your life is to fight a bigger obstacle together only then proceeding with both of you guys regularly scheduled program. Needless to say this relationship is obviously seasonal that may or may not come with pleasant encounters. But nevertheless, you should appreciate them for what they are and bare no hurt feelings towards their ways.
So naturally, I let my inquisitive mind wonder and began contemplating over this topic. After I started pondering, I began to question if we as individuals could identify these types of people in our own lives. Can you tell the difference between the friend who is genuinely a confidant cheering you on and honestly wanting the best for your life. Or are you stuck on the constitutes who merely despise you behind the scenes and could quite frankly steal your special talent and perpetrate it as if it is their own.... Maybe you are safely relying on associates such as the comrades who are simply coexisting with you because they have to and not because they want to.
Either way each individual is vital to the long term journey that God has laid out for us. You cannot make it in this world without experiencing one, if not all, of these type of relationships! They serve a larger purpose in the long run. If you didn't have your confidant you wouldn't have an outlet to share your deepest and most sincere thoughts with. And as far as your constitutes go, like my girl Kandi from Real Housewives of Atlanta would say "let your haters be your motivators!!!!" Use them to your advantage just like they are attempting to use you. That way you can use them as ego boosters to help you stay sassy and confident while moving through the turmoil and triumphs that they maybe creating in your life. As for the comrades, realize what this kind of relationship is and take it for what it’s truly worth. This saves you much time and heartache when they make a grand exist out of your life. They were seasonal and you'll have plenty more encounters like that for years to come.
The fact of the matter is, you have to be leery of those you choose to share your dreams and/or life with. God has given us the gift of discernment, however I feel most of us lack the time or energy to fully excise it. When you do, it not only saves you a lot of time, but it also teaches you to be patient and recognize each type of person that comes into your life. When you are able to recognize them you are more equipped to act accordingly.
No comments:
Post a Comment